I know what you’re thinking, how did this sappy book make the list? I feel the content applies to more than your relationship with your significant other. Your primary love language(s) also affect your relationships at work and whether you find your work life satisfying. Just as versatility in social styles is more important to leadership than which social style you have, so do I suspect that recognizing and respecting others “love languages” can improve leadership effectiveness. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn there is more research on this topic, maybe even in a business centric format.
All posts by john.lipp@lippaudio.org
Venus and Mars in the Workplace: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting Results at Work
After reading John Gray’s original work and this, I was left with the feeling that not everything he wrote can be accurately explained as gender differences. Many of his points sounded like differences in social styles and other personality dimensions not correlated with gender. I have since consulted with our social styles trainer and she agreed with me. Thus, I would not place this book high on your list. However, I would not scratch it from your list altogether; I have observed some of the behaviors / reactions he described, so I found it useful to study the cause and effect regardless if gender may play a role (or not).
The Ultimate Training Workshop Handbook
This book is available in two forms – paper back, and 3-ring binder. The 3-ring binder is out-of-print and over 600 pages. (I found my copy through abebooks in perfect condition.) Essentially an expanded version of Telling Ain’t Training, thought not written quite as well, and more verbose. Lots of examples with free license to use them in your own training classes. An important difference to Telling Ain’t Training is Bruce Klatt makes a distinction between teaching skills (training classes) and changing frames of mind (workshops). Examples of the latter would be management strategy sessions, (real, not what LM does) diversity training,
Now, Discover Your Strengths
This book is the follow-on to First, Break all the Rules. I don’t think it is as well written as the first. The target audience is the individual. If you buy your own copy of the book, you get a code with which you can take their Strengths Finder online survey (this is also true with First, Break all the Rules). That tool gives you your top 5 strengths, in order, which is what is missing from First, Break all the Rules. My opinion is if you have read the book(s), then take the quiz, that can skew your quiz answers. I believe the strengths it identified for me, just not sure that the order wasn’t affected by my having read both books in their entirety first. (And no, you can’t just pay $$$ and take the quiz online, they are VERY adamant you buy a book.) I would recommend start reading this book first even though it is second in the series UNLESS you are a manager; then I would take the quiz using the code from this book when they tell you to (around chapter 4), put the book down, and read First, Break all the Rules.
Judge the Jury: Experience the Power of Reading People
This book covers an interesting array of techniques including reading body language, personality typing, birth order, and similar characteristics which influence jury member prejudices. A claim, which the author’s support, is 80% of the trial outcome is determined by the jury selection. Accused of a crime? Managers, secretaries, and teachers are the kinds of people you don’t want on your jury then. Filed a suit against the government? You want the unemployed on the jury, and engineers off the jury! It is by no means a professional’s handbook – the target audience is the layperson. So to me there wasn’t as much detail as I would have liked.
Let Me See Your Body Talk
Similar to Judge the Jury, the topic is body language. This time the angle is from the perspective of personal relationships. The most interesting section was the concept of dominant communication styles – auditory, visual, and kinesthetic. If you are visual, you want to see information as a graph, picture, or animated simulation. The dominant auditory will complain no one listens. (At least at MFC-Dallas. I give an AVK quiz in one of my classes. Auditory is the rarest form, and I have only encountered one dominant auditory in about 80 students.) The target audience is the layperson, so there isn’t as much detail as I would have liked in some sections.
First, Break All the Rules
You can’t take the title seriously (some of the Amazon.com reviewers did). The book is about what Gallup has found makes effective managers of people during its research for various clients over 10+ years. I really agree with the general findings. After reading it you will be even more disappointed with management around here than you could have thought possible and will realize where HR found some of the latest changes in the performance review process (such as twice a year dialogues). The book is targeted more at managers than at the individual. It has a whole chapter devoted to interviewing which I have used. It is well written.
Why does it make my must read list? The book is really about expertise, that a successful business values and develops experts, and assembles teams of experts.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
I didn’t like the Audio CD presentation of this book. It is a recording of a live presentation by Covey. Covey’s presentation style is something of a broken record which detracts from the message. Largely the messages I got were how to effectively deal with people (including yourself first and foremost) to create success. The practical tools are EQ competencies which is why I put the review there. Understanding / mastering yourself first is the objective of habits 1-3. The theme that self confidence is a requisite for good leadership isn’t new, of course. Covey’s contribution here is the seven habits and related practical advice to put them to use. I can’t list them off a couple months after listening to the CD. I was already doing the first 3 (self directed), but needed to work on the next 3 (group directed).